A Bit Peckish
by SimmonsButterflys
Summary: The agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. are always taking down threats, but every once in a while they get hungry. When they get hungry they get fast-food! Not every fast-food encounter goes as planned though. In fact, Coulson begins to wonder if they're cursed. But, after all, even agents have accidents sometimes. (No specific timeline, I just matched the character to the situation)
1. Simmons' Problem

**Most chapters in here will be based off of real-life events that I've had or seen (most of them within my own family). This first one is based off of myself (Simmons) and my best friend (Fitz).**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D. is not owned by me but I can dream.**

* * *

When you're on a mission there are two things you have to do: First, bring a weapon. Second, Make sure that you assign someone in charge of preparing/bringing food. Now, out of these two the second is more commonly forgotten. Usually Coulson was good at remembering these two so he had no idea how he could forget to assign someone to food duty. Unfortunately, he had.

So we find the agents, 9:44 PM, tired, hungry, sleepy, and congratulating each other (and themselves) on a job well done. They all piled into the black car with its white S.H.I.E.L.D. symbol appearing like a ghost in the black of night. Skye flopped back against the seat and began to tug off her high-heeled boots, "Ugh, I can't feel my feet." She complained. (Which mission were they on? That, I'm afraid, is classified.) Ward swung his arm back and forth trying to get the sore feeling out of it while trying not to hit Fitz in the head. May proceeded to crack her knuckles, back, and neck; the noise made Jemma whence,

"Don't you know how bad that is for you?" she questioned, but got no answer. Fitz had laid his head on top of the back seat and closed his eyes. Coulson kept his eyes on the road. Everything was quiet for twenty minutes while everyone thought over what had just happened. Then, quite suddenly, Leo lifted his head up and opened his eyes,

"I'm feeling a bit peckish." He voiced to no one in particular. Just at that moment, everyone realized that they also were feeling "a bit peckish". Phil, never taking his eyes off of the road, asked:

"Well, who was in charge of bringing the food?"

Silence. Coulson glanced at his team in the car's review mirror. Everyone was looking at each other. He glanced at May, who was sitting in the passenger seat,

"Did I assign you to bring food?" he asked. May turned and looked at him with an expression that said 'do you remember the last time you asked me to bring to food?', "Alright then," The agent looked into the back, "Fitz?" the engineer looked up from the conversation he had been having with his fellow scientist,

"Huh?"

"Didn't I assign you to the snack duty?"

"…..I…don't…think so. Did he tell you to do it, Jemma?"

"No." Was the short reply the team received. That was all the proof Coulson needed from the bio-chemist. After all, she _was_ a terrible liar. He next asked Skye and was answered by the shake of a head. Ward openly stated that he had heard no order that he was suppose to bring anything edible. There was a long pause, with the bus still a good 3 hours drive away it was no use just to try and hold up for the rest of the drive. Plus, Fitz got grumpy when he was hungry. So Phillip began to look around for a drive-through or something like that. Finally his eyes fell onto a McDonalds' and with a grin he pulled in. Skye looked up,

"Oh, thank goodness!" she exclaimed happily, "Food, glorious food!" Ward rolled his eyes at his team mate's drama. Simmons smiled and put her hand onto Fitz's arm, giving it a little squeeze. But, suddenly, Coulson put on the brakes. On the drive-through pole there hung a sign which read, _Drive-through Closed for Repairs, Please order inside_ ,

"Darn." Phil muttered as he turned into a parking space.

"Oh well," May voiced, "at least you get a break from driving."

The team all filed in. There were only a few people left inside and no one was in line. Fitz and Simmons were there in an instant. They ordered and then waited. When their food came they went and sat down across from each other. Jemma pulled out one of her two cheese burgers and Leo began to sip his milk shake.

"Didn't you get anything to eat?" The British-accented woman asked,

"No, I didn't bring much money." Fitz replied, "Besides, you don't need to eat much in order to survive…" Almost as soon as he finished his sentence Simmons had placed her second burger in front of him.

"We're not trying to survive, Fitz; we're trying to eat."

Skye sat in a booth next to Coulson with Grant and Malinda across from them. Skye and Ward had ordered the same thing, a big Mac. May was already munching on her salad and Phil ate his McChicken and milkshake in silence. Jemma had ordered a McFlurry with Reese's in it. As the two science buddies talked about stuff and monkeys the bio-chemist began to taste less and less of the Reese's. She looked down and noticed that there wasn't a single piece of Reese's anywhere in sight.

"Hey, Fitz, they've got a problem with their McFlurries." She said as she showed him her white ice cream.

"Well, you should just go to the manager and complain." Fitz said with a grin.

"I should." Fitz's smile faded,

"What?"

"I'm going to go complain to the manager!"

"Now?!"

"Yes, right now." As she spoke she rose from her seat and headed away from her table. Fitz shot upward and, after taking another gulp of milkshake, followed her as she walked rapidly toward the counter.

"Jemma," he breathed in a soothing way, "it's not worth it. Just leave it, Jemma!" Tossing all hopes of consoling his team mate Leo began to plea with her, "Jemma, look, listen to me leave it be! They're not going to change it! It's McDonalds'!" The bio-chemist turned and looked at her science buddy.

"Fitz, let it go, just, let it go! I can't hold it back any more! Let it go, or I'll turn away and slam the door! I don't care what you're going to say! I'm going to complain. It's a free country, anyway."

After this speech she walked towards the line and Fitz stood looking helpless. He was unsure if he should go and tell the rest of the team or if he should just 'let it go' as Jemma put it. Leo turned and began to walk back towards where Coulson, May, Skye, and Ward were sitting. He squeezed himself into the booth next to Coulson and briefly told them what had happened. May raised her eyebrows, Ward sighed, Skye choked on her milkshake and began coughing violently, and Coulson tried to help her while asking Fitz if he had tried talking to Simmons. When Leo nodded and Ward had handed Skye a drink Coulson looked around to see if he could spot the angered bio-chemist. Ah, there she was: one person away from the counter. Malinda followed his gaze and rose immediately. As if on cue, the remaining portion of the team trailed after her. They approached soon enough to hear her say,

"I'd like to speak with the manager." May turned to her Superior Officer with one eyebrow cocked upward,

"What now?" she asked. Skye voiced her thoughts,

"Couldn't you just, like, go over there and tell her not to? You **are** the head of this team after all." Coulson looked at her,

"Yes, I could. Unfortunately, she's already talking to the manager." The specialist, cavalry, hacker, and engineer all turned to see the enraged scientist placing her complaint,

Skye blinked, "That was fast."

"Hello," the bio-chemist said, "I am Agent Jemma Simmons of S.H.I.E.L.D. or the strategic homeland intervention, enforcement and logistics division. I have a complaint to make on the lack of Reese's in this McFlurry. When I order a McFlurry I fully expect to get a McFlurry, not a cup of vanilla ice cream topped with a few pieces of candy!" Here she slammed her cup down on the counter, causing the manager to start, "I fully expect an improvement, or I will taze you and make my own McFlurry while you drool on the carpet. IS THAT CLEAR?!" Coulson and Ward's eyebrows shot up simultaneously and Fitz facepalmed. May remained normal and Skye struggled with laughter,

"She stole my line." Phil muttered as the manager nodded violently. Jemma allowed a smile to creep over her lips as she took another bite of her vanilla ice cream,

"Thank you for your cooperation." She grinned and walked away past her team and out the door. Silence filled the room.

"So," Coulson breathed while clapping his hands, "everyone ready to head out?" Ward nodded and May began to leave the restaurant. Fitz walked over and picked up Jemma's abandoned purse and trash and silently cleared the table. Coulson watched before turning to see Skye walk up to the counter,

"Skye, it's time to go." He said,

"Yeah," she replied, "hang on; I'm just getting an Oreo McFlurry."

 _Later…_

The manager resolved to do better with his McFlurry making. It had been a long, tough day. Quietly, he set down his hat and name tag on the bedside table. Manager Lee was prepared for a good night's sleep.

 _Elsewhere…_

"Man," Skye muttered, "There aren't enough Oreos in this."

* * *

 **My family and I only have so many of these embarrassing problems so feel free to make a request. Up next: Coulson Has a Problem with...well, spoilers!**

 **P.S. If you liked this please go (and maybe) check out my other Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. story: "On the Index".**


	2. Coulson's Problem

**I meant to update sooner but then life happened...**

 **Anyhoo, here, as promised, is Coulson having some trouble with fast-food!**

 **~SimmonsButterfys**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or Chick-Fil-A...but I wish I did sometimes...**

* * *

Simmons tugged the elastic band out of her hair allowing it to fall onto her shoulders, "Ugh." She muttered quietly. It had been a long day filled with non-stop driving and errands. Triplett had called shot-gun for the fifth time that day and was recently sitting next to May who had insisted that Coulson take a break from driving. Fitz and Simmons were in the back of the car with Coulson and Skye sitting in the row in front of them. Leo glanced at his scientific friend before pulling out two DSs. He put the red and black one within her view and she sat up straight. After a quick grin and a thankful look to Leo, she opened it. They turned the volume to mute and flicked the power switch. Soon they were doing a multi-player game and the car fell silent. That is, until Jemma began to hurl bombs at Fitz's character (which, for some odd reason, was a monkey),

"Hey!" he exclaimed, causing Skye and Coulson to start in their seats. Phil turned to look at him,

"What?" He demanded. Fitz looked around quickly to find some reason for his outburst. The car was currently at a stop light and to the right of them was a fast-food restaurant. The curly-haired agent directed his explanation to his exclamation to this,

"There's Chick-Fil-A! Let's stop and get something to eat!" He gave his supervising officer a toothy grin. May needed no further prompting though. That restaurant had been taunting her telling her to come and get something but, Malinda May had refused to acknowledge that the place was even there. Now, however, she flicked the car's turning signal on and stepped onto the gas pedal as the light was green. It was only a matter of moments until the team had gone through the drive through and gotten what they wanted.

" _Thank goodness the drive-through was open this time."_ Coulson thought remembering what had happened the last time that he had taken the biochemist into a McDonald's. Everyone had gotten chicken sandwiches, well, all except May. She had gotten a chicken salad. Each member had also bought for him or herself a small ice cream sunday.

"All right," Trip said as he passed the food back from where he sat, "everyone is gonna have to eat their sundays first."

"Understood." Skye replied as she pushed her spoon through the hole in the plastic lid. Fitz and Simmons followed suit and all three began to devour the delicious sweetness of chocolate sauce, cherries and ice cream.

"Aw, shoot." Came a breathy complaint from the leader. Skye turned her head and almost chocked on her ice cream with laughter. Coulson had made the mistake of opening the lid of his dessert and now there was chocolate sauce and ice cream on his pants.

"Put the lid back on!" She exclaimed. Phillip desperately tried and eventually succeeded but not until more of the sweet treat had dumped itself onto his spotless outfit. Skye laughed again as she handed over more napkins for him to wipe up what he could. The two sciences arched their necks to see what was so funny. Triplet let a smile to trace his lips,

"At least we aren't in Lola." He commented. The chocolate covered man glanced up at the newest member of his team. Skye chuckled,

"Well, that's one way to keep cool." Fitz grinned and Jemma let out a snicker,

"It seems you've got yourself in a sticky situation." May stated with a slight trace of amusement on her face.

"Hey, Jemma," Fitz asked, "do you know any good ice cream puns?"

"No," the girl replied, "they all seem to have melted from my mind!"

"Okay guys," Skye giggled, "time to leave the poor man alone."

"Yeah," Triplett agreed, "we wouldn't want the rest of the ride home to be a _Rocky Road."_

"I'm not sure how we can 'top' this embarrassing moment." May voiced,

"Oooh!" The occupants of the back seat said simultaneously.

Coulson rolled his eyes, "Ha ha, you guys are hilarious." The rest of the trip was relatively quiet until they got home. They had just finished unloading and the head of the team had gone to change his clothes. Skye addressed the whole rest of the team,

"You'd think that there'd be more ice cream puns." There were soft mutters of agreement. "BTW," Skye continued, "come AC's B-day, I'm making him an ice cream cake."

"With chocolate sauce?" asked Simmons innocently,

"Oh yes," Skye nodded, "with _lots and_ _ **lots**_ of chocolate sauce."

"He'll never forgive you." May said,

"I know."

Know what?" The man who had been absent had just returned.

"Oh, nothing." Skye said.

"Sir," Triplett said, "I think you and the ice cream sundays have a problem." Coulson buttoned his suit and everyone cleared out in less than 25 seconds.

* * *

 **So yeah...that's it for now!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	3. Skye's Problem

**You guys are all so nice! :) I try to update often but only so many accidents happen within my family so I'm kinda short on writing material, sorry!**

 **Anyhoo, this fic is very season one-y when Daisy was called Skye and she and Coulson had a stronger father/daughter relationship.**

* * *

Skye just wanted to go back to base. She leaned back against the back seat and sighed; if they had left the building on time then she could've been dropped off and not have to go to a stupid meeting that she couldn't even be inside for. Coulson looked at her through the mirror, he really was sorry but he had need Skye for the quick hacking part. After that, the mission was over and that's why they were the only ones in the van,

"Hey," the Director said, "come on up front and I'll get you some breakfast." Skye warmed up visibly to the idea since she hadn't had a chance to eat that morning. At the next red-light she climbed into the passenger seat of the car. A few minutes later Coulson pulled into the drive-through of a Duncan Donuts, "Coffee cake muffin and an orange juice?" He asked Skye as they waited for the car in front of them to finish up. Skye smiled,

"Yeah, that sounds great." She said happily. It wasn't long until they were back on the road again. Coulson was finishing up his sour cream donut as Skye feasted on the huge muffin. She seized the juice and the straw as she was chewing.

"Oh, yes," Phil grinned, "because heaven forbid that we lift the bottle to our mouths and drink from it that way." Skye rolled her eyes,

"What else would they give us a straw for?"

"I don't know," Coulson shrugged, "maybe it's a secret communication devise." The paper wrapping of the straw hit him in the side of the face as Skye forced air into it,

"Ha!" she shouted in triumph, "that was so perfect that it was just wrong." Coulson put on his 'what the heck that doesn't even make any sense' face,

"So perfect it was wrong?" He asked as he glanced at his companion, "what did they teach you in school?" Skye laughed but Coulson continued, "See? This is why you're not in a higher rank."

"Oooooh," Skye said in a disbelieving voice, "If I had an unopened straw I would hit you with the paper from it."

"Just don't blow into your orange juice." Coulson said before he burst into a series of chuckles because that's exactly what Skye had just done,

"This isn't funny!" She snapped as she peeled off her jacket while trying to keep any more of the beverage from spilling everywhere,

"I'm sorry," Coulson breathed, "but this is hilarious." Skye stuck her tongue out at him as she attempted to wipe up the sticky liquid with the two napkins that had been in the bag. Coulson reached down and handed her the emergency roll of paper towels, "Here, use these."

"Thanks." Skye mumbled as she grabbed them and tore several off. Silence filled the vehicle and they turned into the parking lot of the building that was the meeting place. Skye sat in the car and waited for her friend. The meeting took 3 hours and Skye found that she had plenty of time to hack into no less than 36 different twitter accounts…all done from her phone. When Coulson at last did return he said that the meeting actually hadn't been that productive and that they were all suppose to meet up again in a couple days. Skye groaned, "I'm not coming with you. Even if there is a mission before hand, I swear, I'll walk home if I have to."

"Wow," Coulson said, "is it that bad? You're not the one who has to talk to a bunch of people about paint colors."

"You guys seriously spent 3 hours talking about _paint_?!" Skye snapped. Coulson shrugged,

"You might as well believe that since the whole meeting was classified." Sky rolled her eyes,

"Oh, yeah. Is 'paint' a special code word for something?" Coulson glanced at her,

"I really am sorry that I had to drag you along for this. To make it up," Coulson grinned, "I could get you something for lunch." The agent ducked as Skye flung the roll of paper towels at his head.

* * *

 **This one is just short and sweet! If you guys have any accidents that you've experienced (or you can just imagine happening) that would go with a character please let me know and I'll try to put it into typing!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	4. The Red Robins Problem

**Yay! My first request! (I just hope that I've done it justice) This was requested by :** Sodaluv8 **The request was a food fight with the Agents caught in the middle of it (with Lincoln). Anyhoo, enjoy!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or Red Robins.**

* * *

"I can't have a single evening with just a nice, quiet night out to eat, can I?" Lincoln muttered as he attempted to brush the mustard out of his hair. The night had started out just fine.

 _Earlier that night…._

"How about we just go out to eat?" Fitz offered to the group. The team (Simmons, Daisy, Hunter, Bobbie, Coulson, May, Mac and himself) had been trying for ages to just kick back and relax. However, everyone seemed to have a different idea of what relaxing meant. May had suggested that they all do yoga for a bit but Coulson's face quickly told everyone that yoga wasn't going to happen for a looooong time. Daisy had thrown out online gaming but Jemma was terrible at that; Mac had remained silent, Hunter suggested that they all just get beer but they did that anyway so it wouldn't have been that special, Bobbie had pushed for a trip to the ice skating rink but a look from May shut that up and Jemma had just finished saying that they might as well give the whole thing up because they weren't getting anywhere. That's when Fitz had spoken up. The silence around him was like a blanket; the past few experiences of eating food somewhere other than the base had turned out rather…interesting. On the other hand, no one had any better ideas. (Especially since there were no interesting movies in theaters at the time.)

"Okay." Daisy said, "He's got my vote." Hunter, Bobbie, and Mac all sided with Daisy and Fitz; not knowing about the past difficulties involving food. At last, Jemma conceded but it took quite a bit of thinking from May and Coulson until they were all piled into the car (except Coulson who insisted on taking Lola) and on their way. After a bit of arguing, they had decided that the best place to go was Red Robins; they **do** have amazing burgers and Daisy was super hipped about the bottomless root beer/coke floats. She and Hunter fell into a competitive state about how many they could drink before one of them got sick. May rolled her eyes briefly but continued to stare at the road. Bobbie glanced back at the two from her position in the passenger seat,

"Just know that if one of you passes out, we're not responsible for what happens next." Simmons perked up from the very back seat,

"If Daisy goes down, I dibs her clothes!"

"Way to be encouraging," Fitz muttered and Mac grinned slightly.

"If Hunter goes down, I get his bottomless root beer float." He said in his deep voice. Fitz turned on him,

"Hey! No fair! Well, if-if you get Hunter's than I get Daisy's!" Jemma punched him lightly in the arm,

"Half a banana split says that Hunter goes down first." She announced,

"You're on!" Shouted Bobbie.

"Wow, you guys are soooooo supportive of our wellbeing." Hunter groaned, "So glad that I have such caring friends. I couldn't be luckier."

"I know right," Daisy muttered in reply, "They're seriously thinking of betting on our bet."

"Bet-seption." May said under her breath. No one heard her but that was kinda the point.

It was only moments later that the black vehicle pulled up in front of the restaurant. The people within the car scrambled out and headed inside. They were shown to their table, ordered their drinks and food, and waited. Daisy suddenly gripped Simmons arm,

"Isn't that Lincoln?" She demanded in a harsh whisper as she motioned with her head towards the man sitting a few tables away from them. It was indeed Lincoln; he was talking to the waitress who was blushing like you wouldn't believe. Apparently she found something very likable in the blond. Then the agents' food arrived and all thoughts of Lincoln slipped from Daisy's mind. That is, until something hit her in the back of the head. She turned with a confused look to see Lincoln trying to be inconspicuous which he was failing at miserably because he couldn't stop laughing. Daisy narrowed her eyes as she seized a French fry and chucked it in his direction. It missed and landed in the salad of an elderly lady.

"Crap." Daisy muttered and turned away quickly. Coulson was looking at her with raised eyebrows but he didn't say anything. At the table next to Lincoln's there was a couple; an arguing couple. They had been there for quite some time but it seemed that the woman had finally had enough and shoved her chair violently backward. The female waitress either didn't see it or couldn't stop in time. There was a terrific crash as she fell into the plates of food she was carrying. Quite a portion of it flew into the air and landed on the upset couple and Lincoln. Daisy snorted and tried to keep the gulp of root beer and ice cream that she had just taken down. Fitz blinked and glanced over his shoulder,

"Hey, isn't that…" He began but got no further. In Daisy's struggle with her beverage, she had accidently bumped Simmons' empty cup. That would have been fine if the cup hadn't fallen over and knocked May's fork off the table. Hunter immediately ducked down to retrieve it; in this way, he jostled the table and Coulson's cup of ice water dumped into the Director's lap. With a shout, he bolted up and Daisy lost the struggle. Luckily she grabbed a napkin and clapped it over her mouth before she began to laugh but this caused the ketup to dump onto Simmons. The bio-chemist didn't do anything but stare for a few moments with an open mouth at her once spotless white shirt. Then she picked up her spoon and took an enormous scoop of Fitz's ice cream Sunday and slapped it onto Daisy's unsuspecting head. She immediately let out a shriek that sent Lincoln into laughter.

At this point, a few kids who were watching the scene took up the act. Soon there was food flying everywhere. The only person who wasn't participating was the Cavalry. She sat quietly, chewing her fries without even bothering to look as food flew at her from every which way. With a sigh she dogged a cup of ice. Coulson had successfully acquired quite a store of straws and was shooting paper at the poor unsuspecting customers as well as pelting salt packets at anyone who got too close. Daisy had no tactic in mind but was simply throwing food and shrieking with laughter. Lincoln found out that he was a terrible dodger as another burger slapped against the front of his coat.

Mac and Hunter formed an alliance and constructed a sort of catapult out of spoons and serving trays. They were able to launch food from the safety of shelter and still manage to hit the unfortunate pair of scientists. Simmons dove desperately under a table and was quickly joined by Fitz, there they huddled as far away from the action as they could. Fitz looked into Simmons' shining eyes and she looked at his cake-covered face; they laughed. It couldn't be helped, there they lay completely and totally limp from the silent laughter that came from Fitz and the gasping, hysterical laughter from his girlfriend.

When things began to quiet down it was mainly because most of the food was undistinguishable. The people peered cautiously out of their hiding places and began to wipe what they could from their faces. May sat back and watched them all; she had already paid the bill and left an enormous tip as well as a note that said, 'sorry for the people I work with'. Bobbie strolled out onto the scene. She had needed to step outside for a phone call and now she stood speechless at the scene before her. She looked around before her eyes rested on May; she cocked an eyebrow.

"Did I miss something?"

"Not a thing." Came the cool reply.

Bobbie nodded slowly as she looked at her fellow agents.

"I'll be in the car." She stated before turning and walking carefully out.

* * *

 **Please let me know what you think of it!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	5. Sonic has a Problem

**Hey, hey, hey! Guess who finally decided to type something! (BtW the answer is me)**

 **This is another request by Sodaluv8 and here is the request:**

 _The Agents go to Sonic but when their food arrives, the server (who was on skates) tripps and the food falls all over Coulson (who is riding solo in Lola and... lets just say tht server ended up like the maneger in the first story who encountered an angry Jemma. (If you could add Lincoln again this would become my second fave AoS fanfic the first beig any good Static Quake fic)_

 **I so yeah...I changed it a bit so that it was the waiter and not the manager that gets (most of) Coulson's anger. Hope you don't mind!**

 **Anywho, enjoy!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**

* * *

 **Disclaimer time! Hence, I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or else Will would be dead. Really dead. Really very dead.**

* * *

"Isn't Sonic a video game?" Lincoln asked as he shifted his jacket slightly.

"Yeah," Daisy answered, "But it's also a restaurant."

"And we always go out for milkshakes every second month on the third Friday." Jemma informed the inhuman.

"Oh." Was all Lincoln could think of to say. May stalked into the room with the keys to the car in her hand.

"Where's Coulson?" Daisy asked, obviously disappointed that the director hadn't shown up.

"He's coming," May reassured her, "He's decided to take Lola so that way he doesn't have to deal with a bunch of agents. Unfortunately, he claimed to ride alone this time so I'm stuck driving you lot."

"Ouch." Fitz murmured as he and Simmons climbed into the back. Jemma grinned at her scientific buddy. Daisy slammed the door closed and they were off. The drive was filled with conversation and laughter from all except May who was wearing sunglasses despite it being dark outside.

Leo leaned forward in his seat and tapped Lincoln on the shoulder, "Did we ever tell you about the time Coulson spilt an ice-cream Sunday on one of his best suits?"

"No…" Lincoln looked at the two other girls. Jemma was smiling like her cheeks would break and Daisy was laughing her head off. "Is it funny?" He prompted,

"Is it _ever_!" Daisy choked out, "It's hilarious!" Lincoln raised an eyebrow and glanced in May's direction. The cavalry didn't show any signs that she was listening to the conversation except for the small smile that had formed on her face. Simmons joggled Fitz's arm,

" _Go on,_ Fitz!" She urged him with a huge smile. And so, with much interrupting and giggles, Fitz eventually told the whole story of the director's unfortunate encounter with a Chick-Fil-A Sunday. By the end of the comical story the car had reached its destination.

Lincoln leaned forward to watch a waiter go whizzing by on roller-skates. The waiter noticed the attention and smiled. He waved at the group before disappearing back inside the restaurant.

"Do they all do that?" Lincoln asked Daisy, who shook her head,

"No…there are some that consider walking to be the better way of serving food.

It wasn't long before all the Agents had ordered their milkshakes of choice. Coulson pulled up just about then. He parked his car and glanced at his team.

"What took you so long?" May asked

"I got stuck behind some traffic." Phil answered before he gave his order to the waiting waiter. May watch, unimpressed as the skater zipped backward along the sidewalk.

"He's going to get himself hurt." She muttered. Daisy, Lincoln, Jemma, Leo, and Malinda all received their milkshakes first. It was a few minutes before the Director saw his order come rolling towards him. (Quite literally, too)

The "roller-skate waiter" as he has now been designated, decided to show off to the three girls who made up his willing audience. With the tray stretched out before him, he lifted one of his legs until it stuck out behind him and slid forward on his other skate. What happened next is hard to say but Fitz later related to Mac that the waiter had been so busy looking at Daisy, May, and Simmons that he had forgotten to stop. Basically, one minute he was grinning at the female agents and the next he was halfway inside of Lola with milkshake spilt all over himself, his customer, and (of course) Lola. There were a few moments of dreadful silence before the waiter began to apologize with a very red face. He whisked of and soon returned with a new milkshake and a fistful of napkins. Coulson looked from his ice creamed covered suite to his ice cream covered car. The waiter stood there making flustered apologies until Phil held up his finger for quiet.

"It's fine." He told the waiter in a completely calm and sophisticated voice. "It was an accident. The important this is that you didn't get hurt."

The agents in the car stared with disbelief: was this the same man that has snapped at them if they got too close to Lola, let alone touch her?! Coulson accepted his new milkshake with a quiet thanks and the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. company headed back to HQ.

The rest of the evening was very quiet. Everyone busied themselves with small tasks and Coulson locked himself in the garage with Lola, a new outfit, and some stain remover. Eventually, everyone went to bed…well…almost everyone.

It was closing time at Sonic when they showed up and believe me, you haven't been working at Sonic long enough until you see five tanks pull up outside of you restaurant along with a very angry, calm man who demands the location of one of you employees. Needless to say, the manager quit the next day.

Later that certain night a certain waiter of a certain restaurant received a certain visitor. I can't put down exactly what was said inside the house guarded by five heavy-duty army tanks. But I know for certain that Coulson left that day with his money refunded and a pair of roller-skates dangling from his arm by their laces.

* * *

 **I know that a few other peoples have requested stuff and I am getting around to typing you these up but I've been really busy lately. Hopefully over Thanksgiving break I can get some of these done!**

 **As a side note I was thinking about writing a Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and BBC Sherlock crossover and I was wondering what you guys thought of that? (What would that be called, anyway? Agents of Deduction? Sherlock of S.H.I.E.L.D.?)**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	6. Taco Bell and Buses (Part 1)

**Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Everybody! I go another request for you all today (or at least part of one) this was requested by: _zejaykay_ and this is the request:**

 _The agents go out for TACO BELL (and have a very messy accident) and meet their real life counter parts_

 **Obviously this is a very big request so I'm gonna break it up so this is part 1 and I'll complete part 2 some point in time. I'm combining this with an idea that I came up with involving buses. This is a more difficult short to write so I hope (so far) I'm doing it justice. **

**Anywho, enjoy!**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Taco Bell or Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D. or anything like that**

* * *

"Taco Tuesday!" Daisy screeched as she bounded through the halls of the S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ. She skidded to a stop inside Director Coulson's office, "Permission to go get food at Taco Bell?" She asked expectantly. Coulson looked up from his desk; with all the work that had been going on he guesses that Skye…er…Daisy just wanted a good reason to get out. Then again, there seemed to be a curse on his agents involving fast food and a big mess. Then again…Daisy did deserve some reward for all her hard work.

"Who would be going with you?" He asked as he closed his pen and began to stack papers. Daisy tucked a lock of hair behind her ear,

"I was thinkin' that I'd take along Fitz, Simmons, Mac, Hunter, Bobbie, and see if May wanted to tag along." Coulson grinned slightly,

"There's a flaw in your plan." He chuckled. Daisy looked confused. The man behind the desk continued, "Our last mission fried our rides." Remembrance light up Daisy's face and then a crestfallen look took its place. Her brows pulled together as she searched frantically through her mind for a solution for the problem at hand.

"The bus." She said at last, Coulson shook his head,

"The Bus can't be used like that; it still needs work done to it." Daisy laughed,

"No! The city bus, not the plane! Have you seen someone try to get near the plane with May around? It looks like they should just turn to dust."

"You want to take a highly-sophisticated group of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents onto the city bus to go and get Taco Bell?" Coulson asked in an unbelieving tone with just a hint of amusement.

"Yeah, why not? I mean, I used to take the bus everywhere before I got my van." Daisy argued. Coulson hid a grin behind a file,

"If you can convince the others to join you than by all means, go."

"Do you wanna come, too?" Daisy asked as she paused in the doorway.

"I'd love to join you, believe me, but all this paper work isn't going to file itself. Maybe next time." He smiled at her. Daisy returned a small smile and left the office.

...

Once outside she set her mind to trying coming up with a way to convince her fellow agents to take a trip on the city bus with her. She approached Jemma first; if she got Jemma to do it, Fitz would follow…unless Mac refused. Jemma was placing a set of newly scrubbed test tubes into their case as Daisy approached.

"Hey, Simmons! You wanna go get some Taco Bell with me?" She asked. Jemma looked up and smiled,

"When?" She asked sweetly, showing that she hadn't made up her mind as of yet. Daisy glanced at her watch,

"In about thirty minutes."

"So soon," Jemma muttered. Louder she asked, "How would we get there, how long do we plan on staying and who else is going?"

"You are the first person I've asked so far so I don't know who else is going," Daisy began by avoiding the first question, "as for how long I was just planning on bring some stuff back with us." Jemma nodded,

"How do we get there?" She asked again.

"Well, the cars are in the shop but there's a bus that goes by here in about 34 minutes and then one that can bring us back. We've got a window of 27 minutes which should be enough time to get food and dash." Jemma raised her eyebrows,

"A city bus?" She asked, "I haven't ridden a city bus since my first part-time job!"

"So are you in or not?" Daisy wanted to know. Jemma appeared to be weighing her options in her mind, "Please," Daisy begged, "If you don't come than Fitz won't come and you've been trying to get him out of the lab for days!" This had an obvious affect. Simmons pursed her lips and her eyes took on a vacant expression. Then she snapped suddenly back to reality.

"Fine. If Fitz agrees to come only because I'm coming then I'll go." She forced out, "I'll get my purse. Although I can't believe that I let myself get talked into this." The biochemist paced away. Daisy did a small victory pose before heading off to find Leopold.

...

"Hey, Fitzster!" She announced as she entered into the room. Mac glanced at his curly-haired friend,

"You're gonna let her call you 'Fitzster'?" He inquired.

"If I don't say anything than she'll stop." Fitz replied blandly.

"Ouch," Daisy put in, "Okay then, um, Simmons and I are gonna go grab a bit at Taco Bell, you guys wanna come with?" Fitz looked torn,

"Well, I was kinda in the middle of something…"

"Please," Daisy began (if this tactic worked on Simmons it might just work on Fitz too), "If you don't come than Jemma might back out and then I'd have to ride the city bus alone." Mac glanced up,

"You're going by city bus? Those things have some weird people on them."

"I know! That's why I don't want to ride alone!" Daisy said. Fitz sighed.

"Yes,"

"What?" Mac wondered,

"Yes, I'll go with Daisy and Jemma to go and get food." The sentence sounded like it had been dragged out of the engineer by force.

"Awesome!" Daisy chuckled. Mac put up his hands,

"I might as well come too. I've got nothing better to do here anyway."

"Sweet! That's almost everybody! I'm gonna go see if Bobbie and Hunter want to come too. We're leaving in about 25 minutes." She called as she dashed out of the lab before either engineer could change their decision.

...

Bobbie sat polishing her batons and swinging them experimentally.

"You certain you didn't touch these?" She asked her British husband, "They feel…off somehow." Hunter put the last backpack away,

"I am 123% positive that I didn't touch your dangerous, scary weapons." He sighed. Bobbie raised an eyebrow,

"Last time you said you were 150% certain…that's more than a 20% drop. What do you expect me to think?"

"I think I'm super-dee-dooper hungry." Daisy replied to Bobbie's question, "You guys want to come and join Fitz, Simmons, Mac, and I to go get food at Taco Bell? We'd be taking the local bus because of all of our awesome sets of wheels are unable to be used at the moment."

Hunter and Bobbie exchanged looks,

"Are you serious?" Hunter asked,

"Yeah."

"…Sure." Bobbie said after a pause.

"What?" Hunter demanded,

"I said 'sure'." Bobbie repeated, "After all, we don't get Taco Bell that often and it'll be interesting to ride the city bus again." Hunter stared with his mouth slightly open. Bobbie raised her eyebrows, "I never said you had to come; that is, if you're too scared to come you don't have too."

"Me? Too scared? What is scary about a city bus? Why would I be scared?" He questioned. Bobbie opened her mouth but Hunter interrupted whatever she was going to say, "Wait, don't answer that. I'm coming with you all and that's final!"

"Great." Daisy said in a slightly concerned tone, "We're leaving in, like, 17 minutes," She began to back out slowly, "I'm gonna go ask May if she wants to come…"

...

May was placing a few tools away as Daisy approached her,

"No." She said flatly before Daisy had even stopped walking. Daisy paused before turning around,

"Okay." She replied as she left the room.

* * *

 **Like I typed before, this is only part one so this isn't the ending! Also, I'm going to ask that if you have to make a request you make a Christmas one (so hot chocolate, candy canes, Christmas trees, ect) just because of the season!**

 **Thanks for the reviews left so far and for all that will be left in the future! It really means the world to me!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**

* * *

Edit Note: Thanks to the person who told me that Hunter is British and not Australian! I honestly thought he was so thanks for correcting me!


	7. Taco Bell and Buses (Part 2)

**Oh gosh it's been forever, hasn't it? I'm a terrible author. Writers block is not a merciful thing. That's why this chapter is so darn short. I will be attempting to pick up this story again and I will get all the requests done (eventually), I promise. I will even be doing the Christmas ones because it's secretly Christmas time all the time.**

 **This is a continuation of the last chapter. The agents decide to go and get themselves Taco Bell with one unfortunate setback, they have no ride to get there. Never fear! Daisy comes up with a brilliant idea to ride the city bus in order to get to her desired destination. Hence, she convinces Jemms, Fitz, Hunter, Bobbi, and Mac to join her on her expedition! And we have now reached the present moment...**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

* * *

Jemma glanced down the road again, "I feel like the bus shouldn't be this late." She muttered as Fitz picked up another stone and threw it as far as he could into the empty lot behind him. Hunter watched it land before he followed suite but his rock soared far beyond the engineer's.

"No fair." Fitz muttered, "You stepped over the line." Mac chuckled and rolled his eyes. Daisy whistled as she checked the bus schedule again,

"It's only 3 minutes late, Simmons. You've just gotta be patient." As she said this Bobbi pointed down the street and squinted,

"There it is. If we'd left we would have missed it completely." She said as she shifted her small backpack into a more comfortable position. The bus approached them before slowing to a stop in front of them. The doors swung open and Daisy boarded and swiped her bus pass before moving on. Jemma smiled at the driver as she did the same,

"How are you, then?" She asked kindly. The driver seemed a little shocked at being acknowledged but nodded in reply,

"I'm doing fine, thanks for asking."

Once the rest of the S.H.I.E.L.D. members had climbed on they sat in their seats to wait out the long ride. Exactly an hour and 23 minutes later the bus pulled up outside of a forum. Mac ushered his team mates out of the bus, making sure that no one was left behind. Bobbi led the way into the Taco Bell. Once the food had been ordered and delivered it was back outside for the agents and waiting for the next bus to take them home.

Everything was going surprisingly smooth as the group of friends found themselves on their journey back to the HQ. The bus slowed at several different stops for additional boarders so that eventually, most of the agents found that they were standing after having given their seats to other riders. That's when the trouble started. The bus began to make a low grumbling sound and shake slightly. There were a few seconds of quiet before the bus gave a sudden lurch. The agents found themselves on the floor and covered in Taco Bell. The bus driver glanced back and widened his eyes at the sight. Fitz slowly pulled himself to his feet and wrung his soda-drenched tie out. Then he exited the bus. After a quiet second the other agents climbed out as well.

Across the street another bus was picking up its passengers. As Daisy looked with jealously at the neat customers before her wistful look turned into a stare of confusion. She turned her head to stare at Jemma before looking back across the street.

"What." She said loudly. This caught Bobbi's attention and she turned to look. Her eyes widened and her brows drew together.

"That is not possible." She agreed.

At this point all the agents were staring across the street. The people boarding the opposite bus looked outlandishly like _them_. Without further warning, Hunter dashed across the street but the bus had already started. Fitz joined him just because he was curious to see if his counterpart was on the bus. As the two men jogged after the bus they saw the same passengers stop what they were doing to look at them. In that moment there was total confusion. The people in the bus looked out at the people behind them before the bus switched lanes and turned a corner. Hunter and Fitz slowly treaded back to where their team mates were waiting. They all shared a look of bewilderment.

"That was weird." Mac breathed.

"Agreed." Fitz muttered.

"Never speak of this again?" Bobbi ventured.

"Agreed." Daisy nodded. Jemma looked up from her phone.

"I just checked my GPS and we're actually quite close to HQ. If we walk this way we should be there in about 15 minutes or so."

"Well," Hunter said at last, "I'm not waiting around in food-covered clothing." He headed off in the direction that Simmons had pointed in. Soon they were all pacing in even steps along the sidewalk with Jemma in the lead. Daisy attempted to start a camping song but only got two lines into it before she forgot the words. So they fell back into silence as everyone thought over their "doubles". Did every one of them have an evil twin like May had once?

Coulson looked up at the team as they entered. His eyebrows rose as he took in their messy appearance. But he simply shook his head and told them to go and get cleaned up. Honestly, his team and fast food just didn't go well together…he'd better add buses to that list too.

* * *

 **Soooooooooooo yeah. There you guys go. I will honestly be trying to get back into the groove of writing this story!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	8. The Problem with Frozen Yogurt

**Hello again! I'm back again with another accident! This one was requested by** Sodaluv8 **:**

 _The agents, tired after a mission, decide to stop at the nearest place: A frozen yogurt shop. The machines malfunction (or something else) and they end up with frozen yogurt all over them. Needless to say, they never went to another frozen yogurt place again. Oh and you could make it that May only gets a little on her cheek, wipes it off, And shoots all the machines! :D That would be sooo funny. And same as always, if you could add Lincoln… One very happy Soda :D_

 **As always, I hope I did justice for this request.**

 **Thank you all for the reviews! You guys are all so nice, every time I get a review it just makes my day! :)**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. still.**

* * *

Another day of missions, another day of hectic activity, it was just another normal day at S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and the gang (Daisy, Simmons, Fitz, and May) were dreading their return to HQ simply because they'd be shoved into a corner by Hunter and Bobbi who would demand to know why they hadn't been invited on the missions that day. The truth was that the other five had needed a break from the arguments that went on between the ex-now not ex-husband and wife. Jemma suddenly reached over and tapped Coulson's shoulder,

"If I may suggest, sir, I believe that we could avoid conflict with Mr. & Mrs. Hunter if we get them something to keep them preoccupied. Possibly food, then they would have to put something in their mouths and if it was something that could melt they would have to eat it immediately, thereby, giving us enough time to escape." Fitz snorted and rolled his eyes but Coulson looked thoughtfully out the windshield. He turned to Daisy who was driving,

"Turn left at this light." Daisy raised her eyebrow as she switched lanes,

"Where are we going?" She asked as she made the turn.

"Turn into that plaza." Coulson directed, "See that Frozen Yogurt shop? We're going there." Daisy pulled into the parking lot and switched off the car.

"Alright then, let's go." May said as the smiled at Fitz's bewildered expression. Daisy pulled out her phone and accepted a call.

"Hello?" she paused, "Oh, hey Lincoln…no, not much, how about you? Where are you?" Another pause, "Oh, we're just around the corner…yeah at the Frozen Yogurt place…sounds cool, see you in a few minutes. Bye." She hung up and rejoined her group who were now inside the shop. "Lincoln's coming to join us. He wanted to talk to me about some of the precautions S.H.I.E.L.D. should be taking with the inhumans. Coulson nodded,

"Looks like we're eating 'in' this evening. Good thing they have burgers too."

It was only a matter of time before the agents had dinner sitting in front of them and it was only a few minutes after that when Lincoln showed up. He and Daisy moved to another table in order to have more privacy. Their powers were personal to them and it was a little awkward talking about your abilities with two excited scientists sitting right next to you. The rest of the team finished dinner rather quickly before deciding to get dessert.

The way the restaurant was set up made it so you could serve yourself. The bowls were set out and the customer could fill it up as much as he/she wanted to before putting on any variety of toppings. The dessert was priced according to its weight. Jemma and Fitz went about filling their bowls all the while arguing about the weight of different flavors and trying to figure out what flavors they could get the most of for the cheapest price. They finally made it through though and headed over to the toppings. Fitz put a generous amount of hot fudge and caramel on his ice cream before hearing a slight scream from Simmons. The whipped cream had almost run out so when she pressed on the handle air and the little topping that was left had sprayed everywhere.

"Oh! This was a new shirt too." She moaned and Fitz quickly grabbed some napkins to help clean up the mess. Jemma had just finished wiping the last of the cream off her face when Coulson noticed a low gurgling sound. He listened quietly, hunting for the source. As he leaned close to one of the yogurt machines the sound grew louder. Suddenly, the machine shook and exploded. Vanilla frozen yogurt went everywhere. The cashier shrieked and dogged for cover. Fitz quickly shoved the toppings table over and dragged Simmons behind it. May ducked behind the nearest table leaving the director to get completely covered with dessert. Daisy and Lincoln stared wide-eyed at the scene.

"What just happened?" Lincoln asked with confusion written all over his face.

"That makes twice." Daisy stated, "Twice that you've gotten ice cream and toppings all over yourself. Way to go, only you could've possible accomplished that." Coulson gripped his forehead.

"Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia?" Jemma asked as she rushed over with a fistful of napkins.

"Sph- what?" May asked,

"Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia," Simmons repeated, "commonly known as brain freeze."

"Then why not just say brain freeze?" Daisy asked, "It would make things easier to understand."

"Because I know the scientific name and I only get to say it so often." The scientists replied sweetly. Fitz turned to the cashier.

"Are you okay?" He questioned gentle. The girl nodded before groaning,

"My boss is gonna _kill_ me!" Coulson shook his head,

"No, it wasn't your fault, I'll talk to him if necessary." The girl looked shocked,

"Really? You'd do that?"

"Sure," Coulson peered at her name tag, "Becky, if your boss starts taking out his anger on you just give him this card." He handed her his phone number and smiled. Fitz looked at the remains of the frozen yogurt machine which was still spluttering,

"You know, I could probably fix this thing." Suddenly, the device gave a final rattle that sent a glob of melted goop onto May's cheek. The Cavalry reached up and gently swiped it away with her finger before pulling out her gun and unloading it into the machine.

"What did you do that for?!" Lincoln shouted as he crept out from behind Daisy. Fitz kicked the now lifeless gadget,

"Well, never mind." Coulson sighed as he pulled out his wallet and handed a few bills to the cashier.

"Come on, guys. We're going home."

 _Later…_

Well, oddly enough, Bobbi and Hunter (after seeing Coulson's state) didn't ask any questions. On a completely unrelated note, they didn't come on the next mission round either.

* * *

 **So yeah...there you guys go. I'll attempt to update more often and finish up all the requests that I have on hold. A few of them will be Christmas relate, I hope you guys don't mind...**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	9. Pi Day Problems

**As you all (might) know today it Pi day! I'll explain that statement in the story, so if you don't understand don't worry. Anywho, who doesn't think of pie when they hear Pi? If you are a person who doesn't think of pie when you hear Pi then congrats, you are one in a million...I think...maybe it's just me that thinks of pie whenever I hear Pi.**

 **Ranting now.**

 **Anyway, Pi day inspired this chapter and I just thought I'd do one of my own requests.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or Pi...nor do I have pie right now which makes me kinda sad. :(**

* * *

Jemma flung open the lab door and nearly hit Hunter in the face,

"Happy pi day!" She said with a bright smile. Mac looked up confused,

"What? Pi day? What's that?" Jemma looked shocked,

"Why it's the date. Today is the 3rd month, and 14th day of 2016." She said before Fitz broke in,

"What she's saying is that it's 3/14/16 and that's pi or 3.14 to its fourth place and rounded. That makes today pi day and this year pi day is a super pi day because the year also matches up with the number." Mac nodded,

"Oh, I get it now. That makes sense."

"It makes me hungry for pie." Daisy said from the corner, "I want some; we should make a pie today." Bobbi didn't glance up from cleaning her batons,

"Have you ever made a pie before, Daisy?" There was a brief silence,

"No…but there's a first time for everything!" She continued to click away on her phone, "Ooh, here's one that sounds good: grasshopper pie." Coulson made a face,

"Grasshoppers? In pie?" Simmons smiled again,

"Relax, sir, grasshopper pie is simply mint pie and people call it grasshopper pie because of its green color. It's often made for St. Patrick's Day, you know." Daisy spoke up again,

"This recipe calls for mint Oreos, whipped cream or cool whip, mint ice cream, and melted butter. We could totally make this!" She smiled at the rest of the team, "We are having pie tonight!" Jemma sighed,

"I was hopping on something a little more light and flaky but I guess we can make grasshopper pie today and I can make us a blueberry pie some other time."

Fitz and Mac volunteered to run to the store for the Oreos (they already had all the other ingredients at the HQ) and were back by the time that Jemma, Daisy and Bobbi had set up all the other necessities. Coulson stood to observe the goings on but refused to get much closer on account of all the bad times he'd had with ice cream. May watched silently and told everyone she was supervising in case anything or everything when wrong. Hunter said that cooking was something he'd never bothered to learn so he talked with Coulson in the corner.

"Alright," Simmons said as she tied up her hair, "Do we want one pie or two?"

"Two," Bobbi said as she pushed her curls behind her ears, "better to have more than less."

"Agreed," Daisy said as she pulled out the food processor, "Okay, first we need to make the crust. I'll start by crushing up Oreos as Simmons separates them. Bobbi, you can melt the butter."

"On it," Agent Morse said as she pulled out a coffee mug and dropped the 3 Tbs. of butter into it. This mug she then put in the microwave and began to melt. Jemma pulled the cookie and the cream of the Oreos apart and handed the cookies to Daisy. Once there were plenty in the food processor Daisy closed the lid and flipped the switch. This process was repeated several times before all the cookies were crushed up.

Bobbi poured the butter into the crumbs and mixed it around before dumping the now moist mass into a pie tin. Simmons pressed the crust down hard before sticking it into the fridge to cool a bit.

"Onto the next one!" Daisy said as she dumped more cookies into the machine. She flipped the switch and cookie pieces flew in every direction. May dodged behind the counter while Coulson and Hunter scrambled out of the room. Fitz ducked behind Mac who got a hit by the flying debris.

"Oops," Daisy muttered as she pulled a few pieces out of her hair, "I forgot to put the lid on."

"No kidding." Simmons answered as she brushed the front of her shirt off. Bobbi had managed to get out of the way just in time and now she peered out from beside the fridge,

"Next time warn us before you're gonna try and kill us with cookies." She scolded with a grin. Daisy looked disappointed,

"What's the fun in warning you guys?" Jemma rolled her eyes before she began to separate cookies again.

Once the crusts were cool enough three cups of mint chocolate chip ice cream was placed onto them. The two pies were put into the freezer for the longest three hours that any of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents had known.

"Is it time yet?" Hunter asked for the fifteenth time. Fitz growled,

"No, stop asking!" He snapped angrily,

"I was just wondering if-" Mac cut Hunter off

"Stop talking." He ordered, "Right now. Just stop." The shorter man opened his mouth and Bobbi sent him a death glare. He closed his mouth again. Simmons tapped her wrist watch impatiently.

"Oh, this is taking forever." In the end, they ended up forgetting that they had half ready pies in their freezer as they got caught up in a game of spoons.

"No!" Fitz shrieked, "She stool that from me! That's not fair!" Daisy gave and evil chuckle,

"You snooze, you loose, Buster." She said as she dangled the spoon from her fingers,

"Spoons shouldn't be used for anything except ice cream." Fitz muttered as he handed his cards to Mac. Jemma dropped her deck,

"Oh! Ice cream! The pies!" Spoons was forgotten in an instant and everyone found themselves back in the kitchen. The pies were completed quickly and then left to freeze for a few more hours. As dinner time drew closer the agents began to anticipate dessert and how good it was going to be. Just a short time later they were prepared to eat the final meal of the day and Daisy stopped Jemma before she entered the dining room,

"Hey, should I get out the pie now? It takes a while for those things to thaw enough to be cut." Jemma contemplated this for a few moments,

"I suppose you could, I doubt we're going to take that long eating dinner anyway." She smiled as Daisy dashed off to retrieve the dessert. Simmons was right, it didn't take too long for dinner to be finished and cleaned up after. Everyone was waiting for that delicious pie and all were hoping that it turned out just as good as it looked.

"Daisy, do you want to get it?" Bobbi asked. The inhuman jumped up,

"Brb." She rushed into the kitchen and everyone heard a frantic, "No! Nonononononono!" The team went to the kitchen to see Daisy standing in front of a melting mint pie. The tin was overflowing with some of the already liquefied dessert. Jemma burst out laughing and all the others soon followed her example. Fitz got out some bowls and Hunter grabbed a big serving spoon,

"Nothing like grasshopper soup." He said as he helped to serve the not-so-much-pie-anymore pie. Despite its droopy appearances, the dessert turned out delicious and Jemma was glad they'd made two. Coulson seemed the most pleased out of everyone though,

"It's about time that ice cream problems happened to someone else." He told May afterwards

* * *

 **Sorry for making you all want pie...**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	10. Christmas Candy Poker and Sing-Along

**Hello faithful readers! It's me again and I've come back with another request** **fulfilled! This was requested by** AchilliesMonkey:

they go get burgers at Coulson's favorite burger place from the show (where Roz got burgers and then threw them away). I think it was called DJ's or something like that?

As far as Christmas suggestions, I can't think of any fast food related Christmas suggestions, but I think it would be funny to see them all hyped up on sugar from all the Christmas cookies, candy canes, sweets, etc. Maybe throw in a drunk Hunter and Fitz singing Christmas carols? That would be funny.

 **Yeah, I kinda tried to combined them but I think I might end up doing another DJ's one just by it self so we can see Coulson's reaction to being betrayed by his favorite burger place. Starting this Monday I'll be on Spring break so I'm gonna try to update all of my stories as well as think of an "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. have a problem with Easter" so I've got this stuff all thought up (kinda) I just need to get around to actually doing it.**

 **This chapter is kinda long so I'm gonna let you read it now! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **I could tell you that I owned Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. but then I would be a liar...**

* * *

Coulson set down the ipad and looked around the empty lab. Where were Jemma and Fitz? They were supposed to analyzing a blood sample for him. May was walking down the hallway when Coulson stopped her,

"Where is everyone?" He asked. May held up a paper bag in response,

"They went out and got DJ's and brought back food because they've been working over 12 hours straight and it's 3 days until Christmas." She said simply before continuing down the hallway. Coulson looked after her,

"They got DJ's without me?" He asked with a dejected look on his fac. May didn't stop,

"Yep. You're lucky that they brought you back something." She said as she entered the garage. Coulson followed her with slight hesitation. With his agents he was just about ready for a huge pile of burgers to drop down on top of him. When he entered into the room without any casualties he was slightly surprised to see his team sitting around a table and eating quietly. They looked up as he entered,

"Hey! Look who finally showed up!" Daisy said as she patted the empty seat next to her, "We bought dinner!" She said as Jemma shoved a bag towards him,

"Eat up, but not too much." She warned. Phil glanced up at her,

"Any specific reason as to the warning?" He asked looking at the food cautiously,

"Well," Fitz broke in, "Hunter and Bobbi raided a few dollar stores and bought **a ton** of candy so we were gonna play poker with it and then have an eating competition." Coulson didn't look impressed,

"Not just candies, mate," Hunter said, "We also got cookies, sodas, poptarts, and all other kinds of goodies."

"I already claimed the Swiss Cake Rolls" Daisy shouted despite the fact that the farthest person away from her was Bobbi who was sitting across from the inhuman.

"Yes," she said with a smirk and an eye roll, "you've mentioned that several loud times." There were a few moments of silence as everyone finished their dinner before they all attacked the pile of candy. May eventually had to step in and forcefully divide the candy evenly or else someone would've lost an arm. Or leg. Or both.

The game was on! Hunter quickly proved that he had the best poker face off them all (but that's just because May wasn't playing). Despite his poker face skills he still couldn't beat Jemma in a good game. The female scientist had gathered quite a bit of candy after the first three rounds. Even though they were supposed to be _bidding_ the sweets the agents soon found that it was impossible to resist just one candy bar or just one more can of soda or just one more cookie/cake. The candy was disappearing fast and the idea of an eating competition with it.

Fitz eventually ran out of candy but that was mainly because he'd eaten most of it; he grabbed a bottle of beer for himself and returned to watch the game play out. Daisy was the next to lose her stash (also mainly because she ate over half of it) so she sat back and began to make commentary on everything. Hunter was out next. He sighed and got himself a beer, his fourth, before he seated himself behind Coulson and began muttering under his breath just to distract the man. May left after a while because the amount of candy being consumed was making her mouth feel disgusting. That was about five minutes after Daisy got eliminated from the game and that's when everything started.

Daisy couldn't stop giggling. It had just started with a wide grin and her twirling around on her office chair but that got her dizzy and she had never realized just how funny being dizzy felt. So she started laughing. Hunter was the first to notice and when he saw how much fun Daisy was having of course he got up and began to spin her chair faster. Daisy gripped the sides and gave a small shriek which was followed by,

"Wheee!" Then she fell out of the chair and exploded into another burst of laughter. Hunter also began to laugh, he laughed so hard that he had to sit down and that made Daisy laugh so hard that she couldn't stand back up. The worst part was when Hunter tried to say something but it was so mixed up with his laughter that neither had any idea as to what he was trying to say. This, obviously, made them laugh harder. With all this laughing involved it wasn't that surprising when Fitz joined in.

He really couldn't help it; the two of them sprawled on the floor just look so dog-gone funny! He tried to suppress the chuckle he felt coming on by taking a quick gulp of his beer. This resulted in him spewing beer and falling helplessly into laughter. The two on the ground found Fitz's predicament immensely amusing and began laughing all over again.

Bobbi started down at them for a moment before turning her attention back to the game. Hunter wrapped his arm around Daisy,

"Watch this," he whispered way too loudly before he grabbed Fitz by the leg and jerked him to the floor. Fitz fell with a gasp and shout that sent Daisy rolling into another peal of laughter. Hunter also laughed and it was only a few seconds before Fitz joined in.

Meanwhile, Coulson had folded his cards and eaten his last tootsie roll as well as drunk the last of his root beer float. He sat back to relax but soon felt the rush of sugar rip through his veins and he suddenly felt the urge to do something. He got up and began to pace back and forth, trying to keep himself from falling into the state that Daisy, Hunter, and Fitz had. It worked well…until Fitz started singing,

"Oh, give me a home! Where the buffalo home! And the deer and the…uh… aunt's elope stay! Where seldom is heard…er….a discourage—ing word! Aaaaaaaaand….the…um…" Hunter broke in,

"What do you think you're doing?" He raised his arms in an exasperated shrug, "You're not American!" His words were beginning to slur and it was obvious that he was drunk, "'Sides, it's Christmas,"

"No i's not!" Fitz retorted indigently, "'is not Christmas yet!" Daisy pounded the ground with her palm,

"It's almost Christmas, man! Deal with it!" She said before falling into another fit of laughter over her 'hilarious' choice of words. Bobbi chuckled as she popped another Reese's into her mouth. Jemma took another swing of her cherry coke and smiled broadly. The game was forgotten entirely as Coulson busted out into a Christmas song,

"Dashing through the snooooooow! On a one-horse-open sleiiiiiiiigh! Over the fields we'll gooooo! Laughing all the way!" Hunter and Fitz both joined in with loud, off key voices,

"HA! HA! HA!" Jemma shook her head and covered her ears,

"I don't like that one." She said over the noise the boys stopped and looked at her,

"We have to do one tha she likes." Fitz said gravely and Hunter nodded in agreement before solemnly helping Fitz onto the table. Coulson and Daisy fell into shameless mirth as the two bowed to Jemma before beginning to sing to her,

"HAVE YOUR SELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRIST-MAS! MAY YOUR HEART BE LIGHT! FROM NOW ON YOUR TROUBLES WILL BE OU OF SIIIGHT!" Bobbi couldn't be silent during their singing anymore she began laughing and clutching her stomach. Tears ran down her cheeks as she shook with silent laughter. Daisy and Coulson caught sight of Bobbi and the sight of her only made them laugh harder. Simmons was clapping off-beat with to the boys' singing but that was fine because they had gotten to a part of the song that they didn't know the words to so they were mainly mumbling the tune over and over again.

May stood quietly at the door and filmed the entire thing.

Daisy sat up and groaned; she rubbed the back of her head only to untangle a candy wrapper from her dark locks, "What?" She wondered aloud before she felt someone moving beside her. Coulson sat up slowly and yawned,

"I've got a headache." He mumbled as he took in the rest of the room. It was littered with candy bags, empty cans of soda and bottles of beer, and cards, "What happened last night?" He asked in confusion. Daisy shook her head and shrugged,

"I don't know. Let's go see where everyone else is." She pulled herself slowly to her feet, her abs felt sore and her legs were shaky. She managed to get into the kitchen where Simmons and Fitz were standing; each held a cup of steaming hot tea and saying nothing. Hunter was lying on the couch with a cold pack perched atop his head and covering his eyes. Bobbi was asleep on a couch not far from him. Daisy dragged herself into the bathroom and turned on the shower, she was going to take a long, hot shower and try her best not to remember whatever happened last night.

May downloaded a certain video into a special email addressed to a certain former director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

' _Rest assured ,'_ she typed, _' the world is in **great** hands. '_ She smirked before signing her name and clicking send.

* * *

 **God bless you all and have a wonderful Easter!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	11. Important Announcement

Dear readers,

I have an important announcement to make and I hope that you all will understand. I will not be continuing this story due to my lack of interest in the fandom. I use to get really into this stuff but, as it turns out, I don't really care about it anymore. I can't continue this anymore because the very thought of this just makes me feel sick.

I apologize for the suddenness of this declaration but I thought it better to let you know that I was stopping rather than to let you all just wait in false hope that someday this story would be updated. I have more important things to do with my life so don't think that this is anyone's fault except my own.

Thank you to all of those who have reviewed, followed, and favorited this story, I greatly appreciate it. I hope you all understand. So, for the final time, good-bye.

~SimmonsButterflys


	12. JK! The Agents are still clumsy

**HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY! (please don't kill me)**

 **Oh, come on. Do you think that I could just walk away from such an amazing fandom!? No waaaaaaaay! That was probably the meanest thing I've ever done.**

 **Anywho, to make it up to you lot I've actually completed another request and this one actually has a food accident in it!**

 **It was requested by:** Devan Alexander

"Coulson wants to get May a special candy for Christmas at an oriental store with a restaurant inside?"

 **Like some of the other requests, I changed it a bit but I hope you still like it. (Also I got to make up my own restaurant which was fun)**

 **A special thanks to all those who reviewed my last chapter, you guys are awesome! :)**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or any other fandom**

* * *

Secret Santa had sort of become a tradition amongst the agents after Trip died. He'd always said how cool it would be to do it one year and he never got to do it. The secret Santa exchange was in memory of him. It always was a more solemn occasion but the fun really began a few days later when someone would walk into their room to see that their bed had been mysteriously made or that there was a bag of cookies on the counter with their name written on it. The fun really started when all the good deeds happened and you tried to sneak around doing good deeds for your person without being caught. Coulson soon discovered that the hardest person to do nice things for was May.

It wasn't that May was mean or rubbed him the wrong way it was that she was always neat, always not hungry, and always aware of everything that went on around her. She was the hardest person because whenever Phil tried to do something nice for her she had either already done it herself or was in the wrong mood for whatever Coulson was doing for her. So he was relieved by the time that he could go out and get her a present, it was almost over.

The mall wasn't the happiest place in the world but it wasn't the most depressing either. Coulson just didn't like it. The noise, teenagers, and people just attempting to get you to buy anything made his head whirl and the smell, while oddly pleasing to some, made him feel slightly sick. However, May's favorite oriental store was in here, right next to Slushy Heaven. The Director made a cautious dash towards the store and got in without a catastrophe happening. He smirked to himself; he was getting good at avoiding frozen desserts. Now, back to present hunting!

It only took him 15 minutes and 23 seconds to find May a pair of earrings. They were small, pretty, and dark colors; all the things she looked for in her unnoticed jewelry. He stood in line at the checkout thinking about how well that all went and about all the other things he needed to do when he got back to HQ. He rested his palm on a shelf next to him to wait out the old lady who was telling the cashier all about her granddaughter and how wonderful she was. The shelf shoved back slightly and Phil quickly took his hand off of it but nothing else happened.

At first.

There was a basket behind the shelf that was knocked over harmlessly. Its lid rolled around for a few moments before settling on the floor. Coulson thanked the cashier and walked out of the store…almost. The basket lid had landed directly in front of the open door and all it took was a misplaced step that sent the Director sliding out of the shop and directly into a woman holding a slushy. The red ice went everywhere. The woman found herself on the floor with a man a few inches from her.

"Are you okay?" The man asked as he glanced her way,

"…Yeah…I think so…what happened?" The girl asked as she struggled to her feet. Coulson followed suit but ended up slipping again and falling face down onto the slushy which cause another unfortunate customer to trip and dump his blue slushy all over the agent's back. Phil moaned as he felt slowly crawled to his feet. The man, turning bright red, apologized hastily,

"It's okay," Phil muttered as he handed the woman a five-dollar bill, "I think I deserved that one." he said to the man before he turned to the female, "Here, sorry I spilt the first one." He muttered as he quickly exited the store before anything else could happen.

It wasn't until Coulson got out to his car that he even thought to check for the earrings. His hand flew to first one pocket and then the other. After a frantic search through each one he had to admit that they were gone. He groaned and looked back towards the mall…maybe he'd just get her a gift card for Amazon.

* * *

 **Promise that I'm going to finish these requests really soon!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	13. The Problem with Fruit Cake

**I have had no inspiration for this story for a while as you all can tell. I didn't want to just throw together a chapter and have it be only so-so, though. Then I remembered that I had this request already typed up! Ta-da! (I'm so prepared that I don't even know it half the time.)**

 **A special thanks to all who continue to read and review these (very) inconsistent updates!**

 **Anywho, this was requested** **by:** Jesuslovesmarina

"Oo! Can you make one about Fury sending everyone fruitcakes? Holiday bonus to his favorite *cough* agents, you know? I just want to see everyone's reaction to fruitcake haha."

 **First off, thank you so much for this request. I was laughing while typing it up; I just hope I did it justice!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. nor have I seen the ending of last season...or any of the season playing right now (*crawls under shock blanket* "Why?!")**

* * *

Fruit cake? _'Hey, welcome to the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistic Division, we have fruit cake!'_ That wasn't exactly Director Fury's idea when he had sent the box but it was definitely Coulson's reaction when he opened the box. He stared at the brightly colored wrapping paper and sparkly bows on each package. They were completed with a tag, each one addressed to the person it was intended for. Coulson read over the tags: Coulson, May, Morse, Hunter, Johnson, Fitz, and Simmons. Heaven knew what he would do with a fruit cake! He didn't have time to eat fruit cake! He had S.H.I.E.L.D. to run! He made a mental note to send Fury a long thank you card later. With a sigh, Phil went around and began to distribute the holiday bonus. First stop: Daisy Johnson.

Daisy was lounging on the sofa, more half way on the sofa, with an iPad in her hands. She hummed to herself as she swiped her fingers across the screen. There was a fizzing sound as the screen turned bright white and died completely.

"Crap." Daisy muttered as she shook the electronic vigorously, "That wasn't supposed to happen." She looked up at her superior as she tossed the piece of junk behind her. "Hey, A.C. What's up?" She asked with an innocent grin. Coulson sighed again and handed her the package,

"From Director Fury." He said simply. Daisy tore the wrapping before she stopped and stared. Her brows furrowed together and she looked up at Coulson,

"A fruit cake?" She asked, "Why a fruit cake?" Coulson merely shrugged before he moved off, leaving Daisy to mutter at the cake alone.

Jemma put down the flaming liquid as Coulson came in,

"Oh, hello sir, do just stand back for a minute." She smiled as she raised a fire extinguisher and blasted it all over the fire that had spread onto the table. Once it was out she raised her safety goggles and smiled again, "Now, what can I do for you?"

Coulson said nothing but handed her the package.

"Oh," Jemma said as she read the tag, "From Director Fury?" She muttered as she carefully removed the wrapping. Her face lit up as she saw the cake, "Oh! I was wanting a fruit cake just earlier! I thought it was just the right thing for the season! I'll have to tell Director Fury that I am extremely grateful to him for his most thoughtful gift." She smiled again as she broke off a piece of the cake and put it in her mouth, "Oh! So good!" She exclaimed before moving off.

Coulson stood silent for a few moments. That had been…unexpected.

Fitz received the cake with a surprised look and a quick thank you before muttering something about sending it to his grandmother.

Bobbi and Hunter had just finished training and were enjoying some cold H2O in the break room when Phil entered,

"Here, from Director Fury." He said simply and stood by to watch their reactions. Hunter looked at the unwrapped cake,

"Uhhh…thanks?" He said as Bobbi looked skeptically at a piece of fruit sticking out,

"Want to see who's more resistant to a large quantity of fruit cake being consumed at an alarming rate?" She asked with enough calm in her voice to worry Coulson. Hunter stood weighing his odds.

"You're on." He agreed at last and the two rushed off to find knives and forks.

May was poised in her fighting stance as she glanced at Coulson. She held up her finger for silence before flipping over several objects, grabbing a pole and completing her fighting routine in a way that would have struck fear into any enemy as well as impress the average police officer. She did a final flip before landing in front of Phillip with the end of the pole inches away from his face. Malinda let out a breath before discarding the pole and wiping her face with a towel,

"What?" She asked plainly but not unkindly.

"Director Fury sent you a Christmas bonus." Coulson replied as he displayed the gift to May. She took it and opened it with a deadpan face. Without changing her expression she looked the cake all over and then weighed it in her hands. She tilted her head to one side, still looking at the cake,

"I could use it as a weapon." She said in an even tone. Coulson raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything as he backed out of the room.

 _Later..._

"Hey!" Fitz called through the quiet HQ, "Has anyone seen my iPad?"

* * *

 **There we go! Now it will just be another two months before I update again. How does that always happen? Honestly though, I'm finally getting to the end of my school year so summer vacation is just around the corner. Hopefully I'll be able to post stuff more often for you guys. Thanks for reading and feel free to let me know what you think!**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


	14. The Brownie Problem

**I know, I know, you're probably all like: whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! She's still alive?! When did this happen?!**

 **But yeah! I'm back, baby! To make a long story short, my parents put a filter on our main computer and I was unable to get onto fanfiction.** **But now I have a laptop so I am free to post stories! Apologizes in advance for the potential poor quality of the first few chapters, I'm currently trying to get back into swing. That being said, I won't be doing any requests right now because I want them to be well done so no new requests yet please! I'll let you know when I'm open to them again!**

* * *

The Agents have a problem with brownies.

There are a few unfortunate individuals who, no matter how hard they tried, somehow always messed up a recipe. Fitz was one of those people. Sometimes it would just be a minor mistake, one that you couldn't even taste in the end product but it never seemed that he had ever completed a recipe without messing up at least one thing in either the ingredients, measurements, or directions. He was now re-reading the salt measurement for the third time to make double sure he had it right. With a satisfied nod, he dumped the right amount into the bowl and turned back to the recipe card once more. At that moment, Daisy skipped into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, peering over Fitz's shoulder.

"Hey Fitzer!" She smiled, "What are you doing?"

"Don't call me 'Fitzer.'" The other muttered as he carefully cracked a few eggs in his bowl, "I'm making brownies…for Simmons." He added as Daisy tried to steal a fist full of chocolate chips. She grinned at him and winked,

"Are you in trouble or something?" Fitz looked confused.

"No," he said at last, "unless you've heard something I haven't…"

"Then why are you making brownies?"

"Simmons said she felt like having brownies today and I felt like having brownies today so I decided to make brownies. Simple as that." As he was saying "simple as that" he slid the bowl onto the automatic mixer and turned it on. Immediately, the bowl shook and was tipped slightly over as it is accustomed to when one doesn't lock the bowl in place before starting the mixer. With a yelp, Fitz sprang forward and turned off the device but not before getting chocolate batter on his shoes. "Wonderful." He muttered as he slipped the footwear off. Daisy grabbed some paper towels and began to clean up the mess.

 _Take two_

After replenishing the batter and mixing it correctly, Daisy and Fitz carefully poured it out into a pan and slid it into the oven. They watched the clock and pulled out the perfect looking brownies. After waiting a few minutes Daisy suggested cutting them to help them cool faster. Fitz agreed but when they tried to cut the brownies they found that they had forgotten to spray the pan so the delicious dessert refused to budge. Fitz groaned and Daisy went to go get more ingredients.

 _Take three_

Daisy pulled the pan of beautiful chocolate goodness out of the oven. They cut them and piled them onto a plate.

"I'm eating one." Daisy announced and Fitz didn't try to stop her as she snatched a square and bit into it. He did however utter a cry of dismay when she made a face and spat the morsel out,

"What now?" Daisy hesitated.

"…Salt instead of sugar." Fitz flung down a dishtowel in despair.

 _Take four_

They triple checked everything. This time they were determined not to fail! They sprayed so much non-stick spray into the pan that Fitz wondered for a second if it would affect the taste. Ignoring this thought, he set the timer again.

"Fitz," a new voice floated through the air, "where are you?" Jemma poked her head around the corner, "Here you are!" she smiled brightly and looked around with a puzzled look. "What's going on?" She asked as she took in the pans sitting on the counter, the flour on the floor, Fitz's shoes in the corner, and Daisy grinning so wide that it looked like she might be in pain.

Fitz opened his mouth to answer when something in the oven exploded. "OH COME ON!"

* * *

 **So that's it for today! A very special thank you to all of those who chose to stay in touch with this story even after I completely dropped it. You guys are amazing and you really helped me get motivated again! Here's to hoping that there will be more chapters soon to come! :D**

 **~SimmonsButterflys**


End file.
